Jack

I walk into the room and Seojun follows behind me.

Naturally, as soon as he catches his reflection in the one-way mirror he starts messing with his hair and posing like a model and it takes him a moment after I cough for him to compose himself. Not that I’m complaining. There’s nothing I enjoy more than watching my beautiful husband. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired.

No, scratch that. I know I’ll never get tired of drooling over him.

And he won’t ever get tired of me. I’m his cute Care Bear and he’s my little gorgeous criminal and that’s how it’ll always be.

“Sorry. It’s impossible not to look in the mirror when I look so handsome. Marriage really does suit me,” he tells the two men sitting on the other side of the interrogation table. “Oh my God! It’s you!”

The petite white man looks at Seojun with a glower and the big Black man smiles.

“What are they doing here? Don’t tell me they’re finally going to admit their not-so-hidden feelings for each other and we’re here to witness the aftermath.”

He winks at the last word and I chuckle.

“No. We’re not here to watch them getting it on, Seojun,” I say before April barks at us from the other side of the mirror. “Mr. Devil May Care and Mr. Little Angel over here were apprehended and we believe they can be great allies to our SPAM cause.”

Seojun turns to me and scoffs.

“You people need to rename everything. Everything that comes out of your mouth sounds wrong.”

I smirk. “That’s not what you were saying last night.”

Seojun’s eyes light up with sin and I fully expect April to pull us out of the room and shoot us in the head for our yapping, but it’s Little Angel’s cough that interrupts our intense staring match and we turn to him.

“I demand my phone call. I want my lawyer. I don’t even know who you people are!”

“We’re CREEPs and proud of it,” Seojun says with emphasis and when both supervillains grimace he turns to me. “See? All wrong!”

I shake my head and look at our prisoners.

“Mr. Angel, Mr. Care, we are SPAM and we protect people with powers and people without from superabled individuals.”

“Pfft. Bastards,” Devil May Care says.

“We won’t speak! We won’t back down! We have rights! Although please take me away from this monster!” Little Angel says, glaring at Devil May Care next to him.

I cackle. Are all petite men such spitfires?

“What’s so funny, Rag’n’Bone Man?”

“Hey!” Seojun slaps his hand on the table. “Only I get to call my husband names, Angel. All right?” He looks at me from the corner of his eyes and inspects my mouth.

“What?” I ask him.

“Nothing.” He shrugs. “I’m trying to picture you with a long beard like Rag’n’Bone.”

“I have no interest in a long beard.”

“But it would make for such a good ‘handle’,” he says, actually doing the air quotes too. Because we need everyone in here to know our business.

“Who are you weirdos?” Devil May Care says.

Seojun gasps.

“You don’t know me? I’m seriously offended. I’m the number one supervillain in the city and you don’t recognize me?”

“He’s not.” I shake my head at the Black guy and he scoffs at me.

“Shut up, dear,” Seojun says. “I’m the Sinister Seomyeong.”

Little Angel looks from him, to me, to Devil before he finally shrugs in confusion.

“Told ya,” I mumble only to get an elbow to my sides.

“Well, it doesn’t matter if you know me or not. What matters is you paying for your crimes.”

“What crimes?” Little Angel asks.

“Uhm, that’s not why they’re here,” I tell Seojun.

“They’re not? Then why are they here?”

I glance at the mirror and take a deep breath before I tell him.

“Well, since your rehabilitation worked so well—”

“My rehab—bitch, I’m not an addict. I’m a criminal.”

“Yes, dear,” I hum.

I’ve learned it’s best not to contradict him. Sometimes. Most of the time, I can’t help myself. Even when he’s a hundred percent wrong and he’s not a criminal. Just a good Samaritan. Heck, even April thinks the same considering who his victims are.

“As I was saying, since you worked out so well for SPAM we thought we’d try and convert some other supervillains into good people like yourself.”

Seojun gasps.

“I can’t believe you said that.”

“What did I say?”

“You called them supervillains and you still haven’t called me one since that first time. That is so offensive you know. It’s supervillainist.”

“That’s not a word.”

“It is now, and you’re it!”

“For fuck sake, what the hell do you people want?” Little Angel asks.

He brushes his curly dark hair back and narrows his eyes as if that will make him look more sinister. Clearly delusion runs in the underbelly of this city.

“We want you to use your powers for good,” I inform them. “And Seojun here is going to help you.”

Seojun’s mouth drops and he turns to me with eyes so shiny he might as well be a source of light all on his own. Which, let’s be honest, he is.

“You got me my very own henchmen?”

“No. Not henchmen.”

“You guys! And I didn’t get you anything. Thank you so much.”

“Not your henchmen,” I repeat, but it’s hopeless. He’s not listening to me.

“Sure you did. My very own Suicide Squad. I don’t know how to thank you.” He addresses the mirror and April behind it.

“What the fuck?” Devil exclaims. “Is this a dream? It must be a dream, otherwise you must have slipped me something and I’m hallucinating because there’s no way this is real.” He glares at Little Angel, both men showing pure hatred for each other.

“Can I sign them yet?” Seojun claps his hands. He’s literally acting as if I bought him a huge stuffed Kawaii kitty. Which I have already and is how I know what that looks like.

“No!” I tell him. “You’re not signing them.”

“Then what…” he pauses and takes a slow, deep breath. “Oh my God. I see! I know what’s happening. This is a tease, right?”

“Huh?” I ask.

“This, right here, this whole scene. It’s a tease for the next book, isn’t it? Like a post-epilogue epilogue so our readers know there’s more to come. Right?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Nevermind.” Seojun brushes his hand across my face, gets up, and turns to look at the empty wall, speaking to it as if it’s a person. “The Sinister Seomyeong will return!” he says and takes a bow.

Why is my husband so silly? And why do I love him all the more for it?